MISH - My Inspiration
Inspired by her I created this blog. Reading through her blogs I figured that it is a nice way to keep track of ones state of mind. It is amazing how silly some things appear when we reflect on our past. Its nothing but the maturity of mind with time. Perhaps the most important thing is it can be our best friend. One with whom we can share our deepest thoughts.
Sitting in this room at 3:15 AM, I am thinking how my life will be in a few years from now. I have so many things to take care of. First and foremost is my becoming self dependent so that I can share some of the burden my dad has to carry everyday. I have dreamt of this day since 1992. 1992 huh? That was the year when my family turned upside down. Its crazy how things can change so fast. And even before you know it, you're nothing. One moment you were dining on a beautifuly set table and the next you're thinking twice to buy a little more bread. It hurts to imagine that our own blood can turn against us. For what? Money. And then what happens. Because we always had faith in our blood, that we gave everything we had to it. And never thought of the consequences of such a thing. Never saved any money or any assets for ourselves.
It was a dark time. So dark that it lasted for four years. Most would call it so. But I say it was the brightest time. I say so because this is the period when I could see everything. There was nothing hidden. People removed their veils and revealed what lay behind it. It was shocking. And it shocked the hell out of me. That is the day a new Hashir was born. Alone. Yes alone. There weren't any friends whom he could share the burden of his heart with. All the troubles just matured him so soon. He lost his innocence. But he remembers till this day what his father always said. Patience is a virute beyond imagination. And he truly was right. Patience is what has kept me going all this while. Its been fourteen years since 1992 and I am 22 now. That means I was a child for just eight years. I know what I have lost. Childhood. The memories which should have been the sweetest are the bitterest.
My parents were sturggling to fight the darkness that was surrounding us. The kept fighting. And succeeded. That was a time when I had lost faith in everyone. I couldn't trust my friends also. It wasn't so for anything they had done. It was my mental state. Gradually I became distant. And my soul would crave for a shoulder where I could cry and body which I could hug. My parents are beautiful but they remained as my parents. They never became my friends. Thats how they wanted it to be. They feel that a certain amount of respect requires a certain amount of distance. And so, I was alone. Couldn't sleep at nights. Just couldn't. Kept thinking of the future. Kept analysing situations. Kept preparing myself for the worst. Thats all I kept doing.
Today, I am a Mechanical Engineer and I have a job. I have passed through bad times, cant say worst. I dont know whats in store in the future. But I am confident that I shall be like a rock which the highest waves will not be able to shake. I have spent fourteen years in preparing myself to be like this. Its only today that I am realising how long it has been since I promised myself to become strong.
Let the bulls in the ring. I'll fight them all.
Sitting in this room at 3:15 AM, I am thinking how my life will be in a few years from now. I have so many things to take care of. First and foremost is my becoming self dependent so that I can share some of the burden my dad has to carry everyday. I have dreamt of this day since 1992. 1992 huh? That was the year when my family turned upside down. Its crazy how things can change so fast. And even before you know it, you're nothing. One moment you were dining on a beautifuly set table and the next you're thinking twice to buy a little more bread. It hurts to imagine that our own blood can turn against us. For what? Money. And then what happens. Because we always had faith in our blood, that we gave everything we had to it. And never thought of the consequences of such a thing. Never saved any money or any assets for ourselves.
It was a dark time. So dark that it lasted for four years. Most would call it so. But I say it was the brightest time. I say so because this is the period when I could see everything. There was nothing hidden. People removed their veils and revealed what lay behind it. It was shocking. And it shocked the hell out of me. That is the day a new Hashir was born. Alone. Yes alone. There weren't any friends whom he could share the burden of his heart with. All the troubles just matured him so soon. He lost his innocence. But he remembers till this day what his father always said. Patience is a virute beyond imagination. And he truly was right. Patience is what has kept me going all this while. Its been fourteen years since 1992 and I am 22 now. That means I was a child for just eight years. I know what I have lost. Childhood. The memories which should have been the sweetest are the bitterest.
My parents were sturggling to fight the darkness that was surrounding us. The kept fighting. And succeeded. That was a time when I had lost faith in everyone. I couldn't trust my friends also. It wasn't so for anything they had done. It was my mental state. Gradually I became distant. And my soul would crave for a shoulder where I could cry and body which I could hug. My parents are beautiful but they remained as my parents. They never became my friends. Thats how they wanted it to be. They feel that a certain amount of respect requires a certain amount of distance. And so, I was alone. Couldn't sleep at nights. Just couldn't. Kept thinking of the future. Kept analysing situations. Kept preparing myself for the worst. Thats all I kept doing.
Today, I am a Mechanical Engineer and I have a job. I have passed through bad times, cant say worst. I dont know whats in store in the future. But I am confident that I shall be like a rock which the highest waves will not be able to shake. I have spent fourteen years in preparing myself to be like this. Its only today that I am realising how long it has been since I promised myself to become strong.
Let the bulls in the ring. I'll fight them all.
posted by Hashir at 2:45 PM
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